How heavy is that vehicle? I believe the new highlanders are car based suv's, and with AWD are pretty heavy I would imagine. The 3500 lb limit is partially based on not putting too much strain on the relatively light duty (FWD based) drivetrain, especially the transmission.
Now if that is before they switched to the car based suv's then you are in better shape.
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1978 18' Seacraft 150hp Mercury XR6
"Seabiscuit"
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